One year ago, tomorrow, I found that lump that has forever changed our worlds.
I have learned more new words that I never wanted to know.
I have showed more strangers my body parts than I ever thought possible.
I have cried more thankful tears than I knew I had in me.
I have heard from hundreds of friends and strangers with words of love and encouragement.
I have found the way to let go of what I cannot control and lean in to what I can.
I have surrounded myself with completely amazing human beings.
I have asked for help.
I have finally started to heal.
And tonight my sister and I will make our family’s special Parker House rolls, drink Brandy Old Fashioneds, send Bill to the store for forgotten ingredients and beat the kids at yahtzee and pounce. Pa Pa Pa brought the bird and intends to win a world record for the amount of gravy he can create and consume. We will remember our last Thanksgiving with my mom, 10 years ago, and how funny it was to have my brothers attempt the rolls. And I will be missing my cousins, because I always think of going to Aunt Nancy’s on this holiday. And crafting. And football. And now, unfortunately, I will also think of that moment, in the shower, a year ago, when I felt that lump. But also be grateful that I told someone, and someone else, and then someone else and that all together we learned the right words, showed enough people, and found the right path to begin to heal.