Every Tuesday they take film. Check to make sure I’m still in the same position, that the mold hasn’t changed, that they are hitting the target. It takes an extra 5 minutes and is done right on the same bed as radiation. If anything is off, Dr. K will make appropriate adjustments. So far, you can’t tell anything is happening. No redness or warmth. No fatigue. No nothing.
My toenails are all falling off. At first I thought I was just clumsy and tripping / stubbing them, but I’ve since realized, except for the wee baby one, they have all become detached and are falling off. Looks gross. I’m sure it’s a late effect of all the poison running through me. Chemo targets all fast growing cells, so it makes sense they’d be killed. Nothing hurts. As a matter of fact it all feels sort of numb. The surgery site included.
I am feeling pretty good. All things considered, this part has been very easy. My arms are working well. I’m getting more use to the foreign bags under my skin while I’m sleeping. I’ve even woken a time or two on my stomach – my preferred position. I’m less cautious of my movements, starting to forget about it. I never thought I’d get there.
I made a new friend this week. A survivor faced with unbelievable challenges. Was a great connection. Inspiring. Someone I may never meet but will always have by my side.
On the way to radiation this week, I thought about all the great supporters I’ve been blessed with, who I carry with me each day. Bracelets from Kory and Carmen. Tank top from Sue. Earrings from Jeanne. Wallet from Cynthia. Woven bag from Judy. Sweater from Martha. Oils from Janet and Jessie. Text messages from Bill. Phone calls from Dad. Its now, as my endurance is challenged, I am inspired by so many to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Infusion next week, and radiation everyday until then. Hoping I have enough energy to end this journey with a trip back to my Aunt & Uncle’s place in Menominee. Something to look forward to.