Follow the crumbs

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love + light

“The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it.”
– C.C. Scott

Keep your chin up


We had a great storm last night. Ended in a double rainbow… and a sleepover for Lilja at the neighbor’s house.

Today was day 32. As I was getting situated into my mold on the radiation bed, Earnest said, “Keep your chin up.” Meaning out of the field of the beams. Though I have to admit, everything is in the field of the beams. The radiation room is the size of the first floor of my house, and has a 10″ door between me and the outside world. The machine that shoots the laser can hit me through the table I’m laying on. I’m alone in this vast room for only a few minutes. I have two radiation plans. One for the breast primary. This one requires a warm towel on my chest to keep the beam from going too deep. The second is for the lymphnodes, and hits me from low on my right side. Today took longer than normal. The plan for the lymphnodes hadn’t been approved across all my treatments, so there was a pause in the middle.

You have to sit still for the whole thing. My arms above my head. Holding a bar. Earnest spent about 10 minutes getting me perfectly aligned. There are green beams of light that shoot at me from the right and left that are used for alignment. The bed I’m laying on has sheets on it that Earnest tugs and pulls at from side to side until the X’s they put on my body line up with the green dancing lines.
He moves from side to side until he’s satisfied, turns the lights back on and leaves the room. He’s got a great soundtrack. He sings while he works. He helps me off the bed. I like Earnest.

I had to move one session and they helped me do it on the fly. Piece of cake. The schedule is relentless, but at least they are accommodating.


When I’m done and home I use an essential oil blend on the “breast” area. My childhood, family friend Jesse has, unfortunately, joined me in the ranks of the battle. She had radiation already and had some swelling and discomfort from the radiation. She came up with this formula of oils for morning and night that made a big improvement. So I smell a bit like an apothecary, but I’m hopeful I won’t swell up. My dear friend Janet had given me oils in the beginning to help keep me calm. I asked her to put the formula together for me, and she out did herself. I have enough for the next ten folks walking in my shoes. Thank you both.


Every morning I see the same faces. The ladies are older than me. Tired. The room is small. People are friendly. We all wear blue. Sloppy, oversized, well worn blue. My dad called today to check in on me. Before he hung up he said, “Keep your chin up.”


One Comment

  1. Janet

    You have been on my mind, and I am counting down the days with you! I am sure you look at what you still have ahead of you, but hopefully the worst is over! Hope the oils help, let me know if I can do anything else!

    Will continue to keep you in my Prayers! Love ya! ❤

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